This is me rambling:
I recently had to go without my medication for about a week because of some severe price changes by the pharmaceutical company that makes the generic version of Adderal XR. I started to remember just what a blessing my meds were as I tried to sit for long periods of time and read the immense amount of pages that were assigned in my various classes this week.
I have lived most of my life by creating and establishing coping mechanisms that allow me to get things done. When I started to take medication it was like having super powers! I could sit for long periods of time and work on one thing. With medication also came the motivation to start projects a little earlier than I was used to in the past. Procrastination was a way of life for me and the pressure of having to get things done at the last minute created a positive challenge that spurred me into action. The problem with all of this was not that I didn’t complete things or that I did them with mediocre quality. It was that I succeeded in doing quality work and was successful in what I concentrated on when I concentrated on it. The weird thing was that I had many irons in the fire and without the pressure of some sort of deadline they would fade off of my radar and into obscurity.
I came to find out (as I started taking medication) that my so called “super powers” were just plain old normal ways people thought and accomplished everyday things. With medication, I am able to eat the proverbial elephant one bight at a time. It is much easier to sit down and think out papers or projects from beginning to end. No matter what the size. Before I would dread that process. I would much rather just jump into something and see where it would lead. This made for some interesting things as I would get distracted after a brief period and move on to something. My wife has multiple stories of the things I was going to “fix” throughout the house, the dishes that I was going to “wash”, the books that I was started to “arrange”. It seems now that I am on medication I am more mindful of the way I can steadily work through things. That doesn’t mean I use my super powers on a regular basis. Sometimes, as will become clear to the readers of this blog, I just enjoy jumping into things and going wherever it takes me. Sitting down and being focused is just a lot easier to me now that I am on medication.
I think a lot of ADHD symptoms can be controlled by the individual with good old fashion coping mechanisms. Medication is nice and makes life a lot easier but, as I said before, I have only started using meds in the last three years. Some people with ADHD engage in self-destructive behavior because they get so frustrated with their inability to get things done that it seems like a good option. At least they can be in control of something. As a follower of Christ, self-destructive behavior seemed like a pretty stupid choice for me. I admit that I did not do things like drugs or body augmentation. I didn’t even take part in things like orgies, occultic rituals, twister chasing or shoplifting. I would love to say that this was mostly out of a plethora of piety. But to be honest it really was due to a spiritual arrogance in that I didn’t want to be identified with a bunch of dirty pagans.
More on this later…….
One response to “What it is like to have ADHD”
Just wanted to let you know I stopped by.
Thanks for blogging. I find it a great testimony of God’s goodness and call on your life that you are studying at Talbot and want to eventually do doctoral work even through the struggle of trying to stay focused.